Cup Check! Stanley Cup Final Game 5, June 13, 2015

Sunday 14th, June 2015 / 18:39 Written by
Cup Check! Stanley Cup Final Game 5, June 13, 2015

Welcome to The Other Half’s crowdsourced playoff-recap for June 13, 2015. Resident Rangers homer Beth Machlan managed to build enough anti-Bolt animosity to keep her going through the SCF, and Hawks homer Sheila Lane is starting to look a little wild-eyed, tbh.

At the end of the night, we were looking at the end of the season, potentially one game away. And oh yeah: goalies be crazy. LET’S DO IT.

How about them details:

Goals:

-(CHI) Patrick Sharp at 6:11 in the 1st period
-(TBL) Vallteri Filppula at 10:53 in the 2nd
-(CHI) Antoine Vermette at 2:00 in the 3rd

Goalies: Corey Crawford stopped 28 of 29; Ben Bishop stopped 27 of 29.

While we’re in the net (unlike SOME people) … there’s a good chance that the first period of this game will be henceforth be shown in Goalie Class as an example of what not to do. Both tendies went AWOL, with disastrous results – for the Bolts.

First, Corey Crawford briefly forgot what game it was – or that it was a game at all – and cleared a live puck as if he was blowing leaves out of his driveway on a hungover Sunday morning. Crawford, who clearly handled the puck outside the trapezoid, got away with a penalty, and Kucherov, who broke his fall into the post with his collarbone, did not return to the game:

Please be okay, little triplet.

And then there’s Ben Bishop. After leaving Game 3 to poop and then sitting out Game 4 with a preexisting condition (tallness), he returned and did this. Oh dear God.

What on earth was Bish thinking? Apparently he had made eye contact with Steven Stamkos and then Victor Hedman screwed things up, but seriously …

And so this happened (*fans self; faints*):

There’s only one conclusion we can come to.

All this led to a lot of talk about goalie tethers, shock collars, etc. Meanwhile, somewhere in Sweden, Henrik Lundqvist sipped a perfect Martini, tossed his perfect hair, and punched a hole through his TV.

Notables:

Best:

The Itinerant Bishop stopped by the net to make two good saves here, but not enough to keep Vermette from getting the gamewinner:

Worst:

We’re still waiting to hear if The Triplets, the best new band to come out of the playoffs, got Yoko’d by that post. The Bolts also topped off the night with the dumbest penalty of all: too many men, a.k.a. Too Much Tampa. Come on now, guys. #BecauseitstheCup

 

Chicago 2, Tampa 1, giving the Hawks a 3-2 lead, and the chance to win the Cup at home for the first time since 1938.

This series continues Monday, June 15, at 8:00 Eastern in Chicago.

 

Once the points were tallied and the soundbytes given The Other Half took a vote and we agree:

What impressed us: Waiting out hours of rain delay, the fans at Wrigley Field were determined to cheer for someone playing something.

What distressed us: Between Bishop’s height, Johnson’s hand, Kucherov’s likely collarbone, and lord knows what else, the Bolts are going to end the season looking like a pile of Tinker Toys at a tag-sale

Bolts at the end of the series

Beth Boyle Machlan

Beth is maybe a little deranged about the NY Rangers, with whom her girls’ team shared practice ice at Rye Playland back in the 80s. However, she can get sucked into almost any sport enough to yell at the TV. She teaches writing full-time, is raising one hockey player and one artist, and wants to create a contact sport for middle-aged ladies with bad backs.


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